How do you know when it's finally time to say goodbye to your favourite old shorts?
Is it when the stitching frays a bit along the seems? No. They're still hanging together. It'll be fine.
Is it when the chamois starts to get a bit lumpy? Nah. It's just molded to the shape of your bottom. It's not chaffing, so it's still fine.
Is it when you notice a slightly thinning patch on your inner thigh where your thigh rubs against the saddle? Oh no. That's just aero-dynamics...less resistance at your inner thigh.
Is it when you make a speedy dismount, desperately trying not to go pelting into the stream, but manage to catch that slightly thinning patch on your saddle, wobble and tumble a bit and hear that unmistakable sound of ripping lycra? Yes. It's probably time now.
Jac
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In which the friends and riders of www.minx-girl.com diary their progress through training, racing and general pottering about on bikes.
Minx
RIDES a Surly Cross Bike, a borrowed fixie (badly) and a steel Jones. Yes singlespeed and with the truss fork since you ask.... LISTENS to Midge Ure 'May Your Good Lord' in her head when climbing hills. Has RACED slowly but with passion. WISHES she had the attitude of Marla Streb. THINKS Greg LeMond chasing down Laurent Fignon in 1989 was the best tour ending ever. LIKES pre-ride coffee at Marrocos. BEST TRAIL riding with Jeff Jones in Oregon. NEMESIS Porcupine Rim. LOVES the moments it comes together. HATES the hours that it doesn't. MISSES Marco Pantani.
Jenn
LIVES a southerner in the north and loving it. WORKS freelance bike journo. RIDES Trek 69er, beloved Kona Unit, Kona Jake the Snake, rugged Kogswell, Omega Helix for the road. BEST TRAIL Nightride Cheek. FAVOURITE POST-RIDE FOOD crumpets, tea, cake, cake, cake..... FILM somewhat predictably Belleville Rendezvous SONG Subject to frequent change but often something from Lamb...
Livvy
LIVES South London WORKS in branding stuff RIDES Orbea Orca and Orbea Aqua (yup, Orbeas ROCK) BEST TARMAC Col D'Aravis FAVOURITE POST-RIDE FOOD Always cake FILM Indochine - gloriously epic but tragic SONG Harper Valley PTA by Dolly Parton
Ruth
LIVES in Wiltshire; only in her minds eye are there mountains.
WORKS freelance sustainability, writer, researcher & consultant, saving the world from itself.
RIDES Nukeproof Mega, On One ‘as heavy as the suspension bike darn it’ 456, slicked up Rocky Mountain Oxygen for scooting round the lanes.
BEST TRAIL is still waiting for me to ride it.
FAVOURITE POST RIDE FOOD tea and cake, always.
FILM ‘Breaking Away’, bikes and coming of age classic.
SONG Underworld’s ‘To Heal’ never fails to fix me.
Jac
LIVES sunny/windy Edinburgh WORKS doing hard sums on spreadsheets RIDES oh dear... Santa Cruz Juliana Superlight, pretty little Spot Singlespeed, Santa Cruz Juliana Cushtail, Cannondale CX9 and my trusty, very old, very beat up Specialized Hardrock commuter BEST TRAIL the extreme canal towpath near Trevelez and Stoory Brae FAVOURITE POST-RIDE FOOD a big mug of hot chocolate and really good gingerbread lathered in butter (proper Scottish style!) FILM Cinema Paradiso (it makes her cry every time) SONG Ca Plane Pour Moi (just for the memories of bad dancing at SSWC in Stockholm) WISHES the tune of Dad's Army would stop going round in her head every time she races
Vikki
LIVES the hills of Lancashire. WORKS not since returning to Uni to be an art student. RIDES Surly Cross-Check, On-One Pompino, Endorphin VP-4 and a Voodoo Bokor - anything with pedals really. BEST TRAIL the tree and nettle lined, leg scratching trails through the woods at the end of my road. FAVOURITE POST-RIDE FOOD malt loaf, toasted bagels or marmite on granary bread and mugs of tea. FILM 50 First Dates for when only cheesy will do, Fargo for something sinister and Le Grand Bleu for pure inspiration. SONG sorry but impossible for an i-tunes junky to pick just one.
Fi
LIVES sunny Clifton in Bristol. WORKS as a lecturer at UWE. RIDES Kona Hei Hei, Marshmallowed Commencal Supernormal (handmedown from Jenn), Trek singlespeed cross bike, Scott cross bike, On One singlespeed, Focus Cayo road bike. BEST TRAIL singletrack descent off Chinley Churn in the High Peak. FAVOURITE POST-RIDE FOOD tea and sandwiches. FILM Truly, Madly, Deeply for wistful moments, or anything James Bond for Sunday evening escapism. SONG ‘Where is the Love?’ by the Black Eyed Peas.
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4 comments:
Completely made me spew Mtn Dew in laughter...all because I've had a very similar mishap :p Good post,thanks for the laugh,my friend :)
I regularly hold mine up to the light to see how thin the lycra is...having seen some hideous sights riding behind (usually men) people wearing shorts that should have been retired and seeing things I don't want to see. I don't want to be giving that view to the world. Have relegated my two favourite pairs of shorts to under baggies/tights wear this month, will get loads more mileage out of them and an excuse to buy more shorts.
I always enjoy reading this blog but this post has finally made me post to say Thank you. Lovely writing and so funny. I'm new to cycling so hopefully my shorts have some time to go before I have to apply the knowledge learned here...
On holiday in US, I took my lycra shorts to a laundrette, not knowing they wash at 90degrees reducing lycra to some see through stretch fabric. straight in bin.
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