Thursday, 14 April 2011

Short Stories

How do you know when it's finally time to say goodbye to your favourite old shorts?

Is it when the stitching frays a bit along the seems? No. They're still hanging together. It'll be fine.

Is it when the chamois starts to get a bit lumpy? Nah. It's just molded to the shape of your bottom. It's not chaffing, so it's still fine.

Is it when you notice a slightly thinning patch on your inner thigh where your thigh rubs against the saddle? Oh no. That's just aero-dynamics...less resistance at your inner thigh.

Is it when you make a speedy dismount, desperately trying not to go pelting into the stream, but manage to catch that slightly thinning patch on your saddle, wobble and tumble a bit and hear that unmistakable sound of ripping lycra? Yes. It's probably time now.



SS:Mtn Biker said...

Completely made me spew Mtn Dew in laughter...all because I've had a very similar mishap :p Good post,thanks for the laugh,my friend :)

Julbags said...

I regularly hold mine up to the light to see how thin the lycra is...having seen some hideous sights riding behind (usually men) people wearing shorts that should have been retired and seeing things I don't want to see. I don't want to be giving that view to the world. Have relegated my two favourite pairs of shorts to under baggies/tights wear this month, will get loads more mileage out of them and an excuse to buy more shorts.

Anonymous said...

I always enjoy reading this blog but this post has finally made me post to say Thank you. Lovely writing and so funny. I'm new to cycling so hopefully my shorts have some time to go before I have to apply the knowledge learned here...

Tejvan said...

On holiday in US, I took my lycra shorts to a laundrette, not knowing they wash at 90degrees reducing lycra to some see through stretch fabric. straight in bin.